We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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