it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
