This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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