So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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