I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
