Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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