that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
