jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
