spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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