i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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