I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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