He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
