why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
