I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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