He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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