I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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