highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
