i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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