omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
