you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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