How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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