I'm going to rape someone's good day.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Everclear isn't food dammit
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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