i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
