I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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