R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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