i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
time to smoke my breakfast
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
