we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize