Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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