there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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