This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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