I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I wear drunk well.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
