goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
