Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
