chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
