Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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