I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
They took my balls.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize
