just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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