So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize