So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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