I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I smell like Dick and happiness
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
