called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
not ubering you a puppy
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
