the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Randomize
