Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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