I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
