i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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