is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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