Non-Jews are for practice
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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