Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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