I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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