we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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