dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
