Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
