PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Randomize
