It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
