So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
