Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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