we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Everything about him screamed your future.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize