is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
