walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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