We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
