Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
