You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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