Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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