Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
