The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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