I'm sorry my penis didn't work
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
It's blow job season.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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