i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize