Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
